Full Time or When I am Dead

 

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I am a Mom full time

I am a Wife full time

I am a pet groomer full time

I am a daughter full time

I am a sister full time

I am a pet parent full time

I am an ambassador for Christ full time

I am a house manager full time

I am a facilities maintenance manager full time

I am a writer full time

So I am exhausted full time

The current mindset says I should make boundaries

Perhaps I should cut some of these duties from my life

It is too much for one person to do on their own

But I have decided

I can sleep when I am dead

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I have also decided I will be organized when I am dead

I will have an immaculately clean mansion when I am dead

I will be impeccably groomed and so well dressed when I am dead

I will be perfect when I am dead

 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.   II Corinthians 12:9

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What If I Walked in the Woods?

What if I walked in the woods?

Would it feel as if the world has faded away

Like I am a squirrel, rolled up in a ball, laying in my cozy tree den?

OR

Would the world feel closer, bigger and more real

Like I am a great magnificent redwood tethered to the spinning earth by my great gnarled roots?

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What if I walked in the city?

Would I feel small, invisible and insignificant

Like I am a bacteria running through the body, never noticed, never minded?

OR

Would I feel grand, bold and important

Like I am royalty, in a carriage, being spirited through my kingdom?

 

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What if I walked in the desert?

Would I feel alone, empty and scared

Like I am a new kitten left by the side of the road?

OR

Would I feel joyful and free to run jump and yell

Like I am a young colt released from his stall after a long cooped up winter?

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What If I walked in the mountains?

Would I feel cold, weak and breathless

Like I am a fox caught in a nasty snowstorm?

OR

Would I feel robust, tenacious and triumphant

Like I am an explorer finding a secret lost treasure?

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What if I were scared?

Would I stay inside my room and only watch the world go by from there

Like I am a baby eagle with no wings and no wisdom?

OR

Would I know that life is worth the risk and step out into the bright unknown

Like a hero who has grabbed fear by it’s tail and thrown it into the deep, deep ever after?

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Armageddon Has Come

 

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It is Armageddon.  The end has come.  Life as we know it is over.  Get the bread!  Get the milk!  Get the snow blower!

Yes, we did survive.  Personally, I was happy to hunker down in my warm cozy house for a day.  As a family, we painted, played games, colored in our adult coloring books and watched Start Trek Next Generation in all of its remastered Blue-ray brilliance.

Sunday was the day to shovel out.  I was stalling but by 10:30 the whole neighborhood was alive and bustling with shovelers, sledders and snow blowers.  What kept me inside was my fear of either needing 3 days to shovel out or putting my back out.

I had a happy surprise when I finally felt the peer pressure enough to push me out the door.  Neighbors had already started on my drive way and sidewalk!   I learned several things from this snow storm.

  1. More than 12 inches is too much.
  2. People really can’t seem to stay home for even a day!
  3. Soup is good for one day but then it gets boring.
  4. Fear is my biggest enemy.

 

Fear panics and takes more than I need.  Fear keeps all the supplies I have stored up, for myself.  Fear immobilizes me and makes me rush to conclusions.  Fear pushes me into unwise choices.  Fear obscures truth.

 

1 John 4:18 

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

 

I never considered love the opposite of fear until I read and re-read this verse.  If I love myself, I make sure that the tasks that keep me safe or affect my happiness, are cared for.  I act the same for the love of my family, friends and the rest of humanity.  As opposed to fear, the thoughts that cause me to act are not fear but concern with a foundation of love.  Concern, driven by love, helps us to fight injustice, homelessness, environmental inadequacies and other social causes.

 

What finally made me walk out the door, was love for my son.  He had a doctor appointment on Monday.